As I sit here in my bed, in my RV, listening to the patter of rain on the top of the metal roof and the wind whipping about, I feel somewhat restless. Most of the time I enjoy a rainy day as I am able to catch up on reading or spend time watching a movie with Brent.
I did get to watch a movie this morning and with a break in the rain, go for a short walk with my sister, Danielle.
This journal prompt is about “excess baggage” that I might be carrying around. I’ve contemplated it all day. I suppose what I carry about that negatively effects me is that I have a small voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m not smart or good enough. I’m not “real” enough. Or I’m “too different” from other people to relate to them. Perhaps this is why I’ve felt uneasy most of the day thinking about these negative self-beliefs I hold of myself. I would feel so free and light if these thoughts were banished from my consciousness.
How have you released negative self-belief? Is it a continuous journey or do you feel that you truly have over-come it?
Today I didn’t have time to read, pray/meditate, or do my journaling. But, I wanted to hop on here to jot a few things down that I did. Yesterday we had a photographer come to our RV and shoot photos of us. I can’t wait to see how they turned out(and share them with you all)! She did lifestyle photographs of us inside and outside of the RV. It’ll be wonderful to have this time of our lives documented in photographs.Today, my in-laws came to visit as we are only a couple hours away from them currently. Brent and his father went off to search for some family grave sites that his Dad has been searching for for awhile now. My mother-in-law and my three daughters, plus my sister’s boys(she was grocery shopping and going to the chiropractor), walked down to a little creek off of the property we are staying at. The children had fun splashing about in the creek while Mary and I caught up with each other. Brent and Bill found the grave site. Bill was very happy as he’s tried a couple times before to find this. He enjoys documenting and researching his ancestry. Then we all sat down to a delicious dinner of Feijoada, Brazilian black beans. I also made sautéed collard greens and a salad with vinaigrette. I don’t have a particular recipe for any of these dishes. The beans, I believe, are best made with homemade bone broth(preferably from a smoked beer-butt chicken). The salad consists of chopped tomatoes, diced onion, chopped fresh parsley, fresh lime juice, olive oil, a dash of vinegar, salt and cracked black pepper to taste. I like to make this a couple hours in advance so the flavors can meld together. I’ll be back to blogging my daily journal tomorrow and will share some photos of us and our RV as soon as I get them.
These are in no particular order, but it is a list of things that make me happy.
- My daughters
- Beaches & oceans
- Good food eaten with friends and loved ones
- Fresh, warm bread
- Hot tubs
- Swimming pools
- Walks and hikes outside
- A clean home
- Traveling to new places
I don’t usually wait to do what I dream of. I do make sure to look into what I’m passionate about or dream of and research it, if needed.
It took me about two years before going out in an RV fulltime.
As I’ve written in past journal entries, I do wish to travel more internationally. I am going to Cambodia this August, but it is not a trip for pleasure, but to serve the Cambodian people(http://www.lohintl.com). I am still excited to go though!
I have thought of obtaining my master’s of family nurse practitioner, but it won’t behoove me now as I travel and my children are so young, needing help in schooling themselves.
If I won the lottery jackpot, I would first donate 10%(before taxes) to Legacy Of Hope International(LOHI), the mission group I’m involved in. Then, I would pay off my debts we have. I would put some aside for each child of mine. I would buy an RV Park for Brent and a birth center for myself. I would get weekly massages. I would travel internationally several times a year. I would invest the rest, like a responsible adult should.😊
Recently, my most memorable experience with nature was in Sedona this winter. It was unlike any landscape I’d experienced before. So different than here in the southeast.
I gasped and exclaimed at the redness of the rocky hills. The shapes of the rock formations were so interesting too! I loved the contrast of colors; greens, reds, and browns.
The coolness of the air and the warmth of the sun, all at once while hiking the trails there. It was phenomenal. I cannot wait to visit Sedona, Arizona again.
I feel as if I haven’t had many dreams as of late. The last one I remember(or two), weren’t very long at all. I suppose I could embellish upon them to make them longer.
So, in light of me not being able to recall many dreams, I Googled “how to remember dreams.” The search turned up several interesting ideas. One, I believe, is a big reason I don’t seem to remember my dreams. It said not to stimulate yourself at all upon waking as this could lead to promptly forgetting one’s dreams as dreams are stored in your short-term memory(http://amycope.com/remember-your-dreams/). My children most always wake me up and start talking my head off first thing in the morning. I also read about a few supplements and herbs that could help.
One thing about me and dreams is that in childhood and into young adulthood, I had night terrors and I would sleep walk on occasion. My dreams would be extremely vivid and many times, terrifying.
One time, as a teen, I was at a retreat, in Destin, Florida. I was in a hotel room with sr real other teen girls on, I believe, the twelve or so floor of the hotel. There was a balcony outside of our room with a door to go out onto it. In the night I dreamt I was being chased by a man and was running from him in my dream. One of the teens woke up(thankfully!), and found me climbing over the balcony edge! I had no recollection of going out on that balcony climbing on it. Can you imagine if no had woken up and caught me out there? What if, in my sleep, I had slipped or let go and fallen? I’m sure it would have made for grand speculation on why a girl such as myself, had committed suicide? Which I had no intention of in my waking hours. But, who would’ve known I was sleep walking and having a night terror?
So, I’m rather afraid of dreaming.
I would love to have awe-inspiring or happy dreams.
Well, the two dreams that I do remember recently having, the short ones, were of my husband leaving me(which he has no intention of) due to lack of internet connection where we are currently parked in the RV. The other one was of my sister naming her baby(which isn’t a bad dream).
I am living an adventure that I love. I dreamed of living more simply. Traveling with my family. We are living out an adventure everyday. It may not be heart-thumping adventure each day, but we get to spend time with each other exploring the United States in an RV.
I do still wish to do some international traveling(I do get to go to Cambodia this year!). I’ve always wanted to visit Spain and Greece. I’m hoping one day I will!
I know I need to be more accepting of myself. Like I wrote in Journal Entry no. 1 about being a critical person, I tend to be critical of myself. I’ve read many books and articles that say to “just accept yourself.” Why is it so hard for me to just accept myself? I’ve come to see I need to set my mind, daily, on being grateful and happy about things unique to myself, that make me truly me. I like when I did a yoga video from Yoga with Adriene, and she had me place my hands on my abdomen and say a word of thanks for all it does for me, day to day. It is one area of my body, in particular, that I’m unhappy about. But, in doing that exercise, I see I’ve been very ungrateful to this body part. It has done, is doing, and will do so much for me. My abdomen area has helped carry four babies, helps hold in numerous, vital organs, helps me stand tall, helps me with breathing, so, so many functions in which I seem to take for granted.
I accept myself. I love myself just the way I am(even if those statements sound cheesy😊). xoxo tummy
Being able to travel
Access to good food and clean water
A vehicle that runs
A nice RV to live in
Freedom in my religious preferences
Right to vote
Running water and electricity
A washer and dryer
Able to do the work I love
Able to homeschool my sweet girls
Heat and AC
Opportunities in my past, present and future
Ability to see and read
The ability to be joyful