Today was cold with light snow being blown by strong winds. The girls and I snuggled in bed a bit longer this morning since it was so chilly out and Brent is out of town. It was close to 9:00 A.M. before we were done with breakfast and started book work. After this was done, we watched Pippi Longstocking. Then the girls went outside to play with their cousins while my sister and I went for a walk.
I made lactation cookies today for my sister. My phone was disabled for many hours due to an update(the recipe is saved to my phone), so I used a different recipe this time, but my favorite is this one: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/08/lactation-cookies-recipe-increasing.html?m=1
So, on to my journal Entry for today.
What five things would I spend $5 on for fun or self-care?
- Glass of wine
If I could snap my finger and be any where, I would be in Belize right now. It’s cold and rainy here where I am currently.
I would be lying in a hammock near the beach, sipping on a Mai Tai. The breeze would carry the salty scent of the ocean spray and cool me off. The sound of the ocean waves would sing a sweet melody to my ears. My hunger would be satisfied on a sweet snack of local cashew nuts until it’s time for dinner.
Now, I’ve never been to Belize, but it sounds like a very nice place to relax. I also read up about the Mayan ruins there, which would be interesting site to visit, if I ever got up from the hammock.
As I sit here in my bed, in my RV, listening to the patter of rain on the top of the metal roof and the wind whipping about, I feel somewhat restless. Most of the time I enjoy a rainy day as I am able to catch up on reading or spend time watching a movie with Brent.
I did get to watch a movie this morning and with a break in the rain, go for a short walk with my sister, Danielle.
This journal prompt is about “excess baggage” that I might be carrying around. I’ve contemplated it all day. I suppose what I carry about that negatively effects me is that I have a small voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m not smart or good enough. I’m not “real” enough. Or I’m “too different” from other people to relate to them. Perhaps this is why I’ve felt uneasy most of the day thinking about these negative self-beliefs I hold of myself. I would feel so free and light if these thoughts were banished from my consciousness.
How have you released negative self-belief? Is it a continuous journey or do you feel that you truly have over-come it?
These are in no particular order, but it is a list of things that make me happy.
- My daughters
- Beaches & oceans
- Good food eaten with friends and loved ones
- Fresh, warm bread
- Hot tubs
- Swimming pools
- Walks and hikes outside
- A clean home
- Traveling to new places
I don’t usually wait to do what I dream of. I do make sure to look into what I’m passionate about or dream of and research it, if needed.
It took me about two years before going out in an RV fulltime.
As I’ve written in past journal entries, I do wish to travel more internationally. I am going to Cambodia this August, but it is not a trip for pleasure, but to serve the Cambodian people(http://www.lohintl.com). I am still excited to go though!
I have thought of obtaining my master’s of family nurse practitioner, but it won’t behoove me now as I travel and my children are so young, needing help in schooling themselves.
If I won the lottery jackpot, I would first donate 10%(before taxes) to Legacy Of Hope International(LOHI), the mission group I’m involved in. Then, I would pay off my debts we have. I would put some aside for each child of mine. I would buy an RV Park for Brent and a birth center for myself. I would get weekly massages. I would travel internationally several times a year. I would invest the rest, like a responsible adult should.😊
Recently, my most memorable experience with nature was in Sedona this winter. It was unlike any landscape I’d experienced before. So different than here in the southeast.
I gasped and exclaimed at the redness of the rocky hills. The shapes of the rock formations were so interesting too! I loved the contrast of colors; greens, reds, and browns.
The coolness of the air and the warmth of the sun, all at once while hiking the trails there. It was phenomenal. I cannot wait to visit Sedona, Arizona again.
I feel as if I haven’t had many dreams as of late. The last one I remember(or two), weren’t very long at all. I suppose I could embellish upon them to make them longer.
So, in light of me not being able to recall many dreams, I Googled “how to remember dreams.” The search turned up several interesting ideas. One, I believe, is a big reason I don’t seem to remember my dreams. It said not to stimulate yourself at all upon waking as this could lead to promptly forgetting one’s dreams as dreams are stored in your short-term memory(http://amycope.com/remember-your-dreams/). My children most always wake me up and start talking my head off first thing in the morning. I also read about a few supplements and herbs that could help.
One thing about me and dreams is that in childhood and into young adulthood, I had night terrors and I would sleep walk on occasion. My dreams would be extremely vivid and many times, terrifying.
One time, as a teen, I was at a retreat, in Destin, Florida. I was in a hotel room with sr real other teen girls on, I believe, the twelve or so floor of the hotel. There was a balcony outside of our room with a door to go out onto it. In the night I dreamt I was being chased by a man and was running from him in my dream. One of the teens woke up(thankfully!), and found me climbing over the balcony edge! I had no recollection of going out on that balcony climbing on it. Can you imagine if no had woken up and caught me out there? What if, in my sleep, I had slipped or let go and fallen? I’m sure it would have made for grand speculation on why a girl such as myself, had committed suicide? Which I had no intention of in my waking hours. But, who would’ve known I was sleep walking and having a night terror?
So, I’m rather afraid of dreaming.
I would love to have awe-inspiring or happy dreams.
Well, the two dreams that I do remember recently having, the short ones, were of my husband leaving me(which he has no intention of) due to lack of internet connection where we are currently parked in the RV. The other one was of my sister naming her baby(which isn’t a bad dream).
I am living an adventure that I love. I dreamed of living more simply. Traveling with my family. We are living out an adventure everyday. It may not be heart-thumping adventure each day, but we get to spend time with each other exploring the United States in an RV.
I do still wish to do some international traveling(I do get to go to Cambodia this year!). I’ve always wanted to visit Spain and Greece. I’m hoping one day I will!
I know I need to be more accepting of myself. Like I wrote in Journal Entry no. 1 about being a critical person, I tend to be critical of myself. I’ve read many books and articles that say to “just accept yourself.” Why is it so hard for me to just accept myself? I’ve come to see I need to set my mind, daily, on being grateful and happy about things unique to myself, that make me truly me. I like when I did a yoga video from Yoga with Adriene, and she had me place my hands on my abdomen and say a word of thanks for all it does for me, day to day. It is one area of my body, in particular, that I’m unhappy about. But, in doing that exercise, I see I’ve been very ungrateful to this body part. It has done, is doing, and will do so much for me. My abdomen area has helped carry four babies, helps hold in numerous, vital organs, helps me stand tall, helps me with breathing, so, so many functions in which I seem to take for granted.
I accept myself. I love myself just the way I am(even if those statements sound cheesy😊). xoxo tummy